"take the ridiculousness from my life"

For the past 3 months I have been planning to move back to Charles city, Iowa..yet again..and work and go to school for photography. It sounded like a great plan. It felt good, it felt right. Well ladies and gentlemen, turns out whatever plans I have made for myself..never seem to work out. You would think after all these years I would have learned that when you're plans are not to seek out the plan the God has for you..you fail and not just a little fail but a big fat juicy failure fail. I had every intention of leaving in September. It's august 30th..yeah I'm not moving this week. It feels as though God is just throwing me a bone and slowly deleting all the ridiculousness in my life. Sometimes I think He's just sitting up there thinking "wow she struggles.." These plans for Iowa practically disappeared into thin air. I don't know how something can fall apart so quickly, but it did. Its scary how quickly God answers when you pray a prayer like "take all the ridiculousness from my life." It's a lonely place to be when you are stripped from all of your plans and forced to see clearly. At the same time is cleansing to have a fresh perspective and comforting to know I serve a God who tells me the plans he has for me are to prosper and not to harm me.

Yep, so here I am still in Phx, AZ. Its not a terrible place to be stuck, and I hope in a short time I wont feel the need to use the word stuck. I do feel happy that I'll be able to see my dad and be of support to him and my family while we are finishing out his sentence together. However, I am fighting the deep urge to be my spontaneous self and go somewhere wild and adventurous. A new perspective has opened my eyes to all the adventures that are right here in my own backyard. A new incredible experience to make music with a precious friend has been so exciting and has overflowed my creative cup. Continuing to learn about my friends in all there new stages of life will be a great experience. To love someone again will be the greatest adventure of all. I have peace knowing that God knows my heart and he created me in such a way that I know he will not let me walk through life without a companion, a "teammate", a sweetheart. :) I feel like maybe God has given me an opportunity to turn an unexpected something into a special someone. :) To that person, you are one the most spectacular surprises of my life and Im grateful for our time together. I am always amazed by the crazy directions life has taken me. Thank you to those of you who have been amazingly supportive throughout hardships and trying to make decisions in my life. I wont lie, times have been hard, but you are truly what makes life that much easier. I love my friends and family so much!

"Go, go out and conquer, go out and find yourself, find the world, find someone who will fill your cup, and lift you up and lead you to the cross where He is enough."
-chasing hearts